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Although I’ve studied, practiced, and taught NVC for years, lately I’ve been revisiting a basic question: What is NVC for?
One possible answer is that NVC is for more effectively inspiring people to do what we want them to. Before you object (and I hope you do), please note that I said “inspiring”, not “coercing”. Our prevalent domination-oriented culture teaches us to coerce others into doing what we want by holding up standards of behavior and morality, sometimes revealed in words like “should”, “responsibility”, “right”, and “rights”. In contrast, NVC teaches us to inspire others by revealing our feelings and needs and then